9+5 = how many months later?

So I've gotten a little better at this right? Took me long enough- lets see how long it lasts. I was looking back on past posts tongue twister - and was reading how about more then a year ago I had an abortion...


I would've had a baby right now
A 5 month old baby..


Maybe it wasn't a big deal to me
Maybe I never dealt with it
Maybe I'm still in denial


To be completely honest the only times I think about it are when someone brings up the word in passing which happens as often as you think it would...almost never and even then the feeling lasts for 30 seconds max..


i had an abortion and this person has no idea


If the person making the standard "That sound about as fun as an abortion" comment knew the stress, anxiety, pain, sorrow that goes along with that process I doubt they would even have that word in their vocabulary BUT that is the price I pay for hiding my secret.


I could broadcast to the world that I had this procedure, that I was okay with the decision, that it was my choice but that still doesn't mean that I occasionally ache for the loss but that is the burden I carry and I do not need judgments from every person I meet.


Happy and for the most part healthy at the age of 25 is more then I can ask for. I can only accept the decisions I've made and hope to learn from them in the future. I do not take the notion of life lightly, and it might sound selfish but my life is my main priority.


xx