Loving and Lounging

I was lounging Saturday, like any normal 25 year old would do so of course that included lounge drinking:
budlight, budlight platinum, twisted teas, margaritas
All totally normal for my group of friends... at noon. The sun was out, bathing suites were on (for the  most part) and a fun time was had by all..


if only it were that easy


T had gone fishing with his buddies that day only a few miles away from my friends house. Boys will be boys so of course when they came back at 6 PM they were hammered off their face


screaming, dancing, still drinking type of hammered off their face


While I chalk it up to a boys day drinking and let them be, the neighbors surrounding us would have no such patience and immediately the complaints started rolling in. 


The musics too loud
You're too loud
I'm too loud
We're all too drunk


Mind you this is probably around 8PM and it's a Saturday night.. what do these people want from us? So we left and went out.. but not after i conferred with my friend I would be sleeping at her house
 Of course shes says..you're more then welcomed
Which she would always say since she's one of my best friends- but i digress. We end up at a club on a dock which had a odd mix of Vegas/ trashy NY feel to it. Bottle service with tables that had views of boat houses and gas stations? Ah what do you expect but still definitely not my scene.


It was even more not my scene when my boyfriend and his friends didn't get in right after me and my friends.


And even more not my scene when a guy paid him $50 bucks to cut him in line.


 That was my cue to leave the club/bar/boat gas station and go spend $50


We ended up at a great dive bar and had my toes in the sand drinking a Corona- perfect. The cab was easy to find home..a little too easy and when I got up to my friends front door it was locked..locked out with a drunk T and his friends was not fun. These aren't just some drunk guys that can pass out anywhere. They're all clearly over 6'5" and usually need 2-3 couches and I was clearly not happy.


After throwing rocks at her window, approximately 15 texts, 30 cell phone calls, 15 house calls, pounding on the doors, and door bell ringing her sister answers the door..


My friend I leave snoozing in her bed...she was high and drunk and she's my best friend- shit happens. I take my keys and drive T and the friendly giants home and proceed to pass out on T's couch


 End Scene right? 
of course not


I wake up at 3 AM in a disgusting sweat demanding water. T brings water and then in my delusional state I claim I need ice
he says I yelled it,
we'll go with i asked politely and smiled...
As he goes to get the ice I make a mad dash for the bathroom and start throwing up under-cooked hamburgers and hot dogs from the earlier day


I knew letting the drunk ones bbq wasn't the best idea but hey... they volunteered


And now I was paying for my laziness- with my face in a toilet. Nothing says sexy besides a sweaty smelly girl over a toilet the night before Father's Day.


Within 4 hours of this debacle I was over the neighbor complaints, over being locked out, over being practically force fed poison and enjoying Father's Day until my friend started with the silent treatment...


apparently the 15 house calls were forwarded to her parents
like i was suppose to know that


She's currently not speaking to me because T's friends were apparently the loud ones the complaint was filed against and I'm suppose to be responsible for that? They're giants I tell you... Giants! When's the last time you  controlled a giant? 


Exactly


xx

9+5 = how many months later?

So I've gotten a little better at this right? Took me long enough- lets see how long it lasts. I was looking back on past posts tongue twister - and was reading how about more then a year ago I had an abortion...


I would've had a baby right now
A 5 month old baby..


Maybe it wasn't a big deal to me
Maybe I never dealt with it
Maybe I'm still in denial


To be completely honest the only times I think about it are when someone brings up the word in passing which happens as often as you think it would...almost never and even then the feeling lasts for 30 seconds max..


i had an abortion and this person has no idea


If the person making the standard "That sound about as fun as an abortion" comment knew the stress, anxiety, pain, sorrow that goes along with that process I doubt they would even have that word in their vocabulary BUT that is the price I pay for hiding my secret.


I could broadcast to the world that I had this procedure, that I was okay with the decision, that it was my choice but that still doesn't mean that I occasionally ache for the loss but that is the burden I carry and I do not need judgments from every person I meet.


Happy and for the most part healthy at the age of 25 is more then I can ask for. I can only accept the decisions I've made and hope to learn from them in the future. I do not take the notion of life lightly, and it might sound selfish but my life is my main priority.


xx

All posts start with a J huh? Guess I'll just keep with that trend. Since we last left my life I have


- Lived with three vegan lesbian hippies and shared one bathroom
- Fallen in Love
- Moved twice
- Got a new job


Guess that about sums it up. I was moving out yesterday and saying goodbye to my hippies and don't you  know they bring home a litter of stray cats. If there as any sign from God that I needed to move that was it. Don't get me wrong I love all animals but I'm not about to spend my Thursday night sitting in our den brushing their flees out and rubbing their butts in our kitchen sink to make them poop.


Right so on to the next as they say. I'm a hop skip and a jump away from my work and the city now and a fucking long shot from my boyfriend. Go back a few posts and its the basketball guy that won out- try and keep up.


It's like you can't have your cake and eat it to. As soon as i move a step closer to being successful at work and living that whole city life I give up seeing my boyfriend on a regular basis. Where is that happy medium?


xx