Loving and Lounging

I was lounging Saturday, like any normal 25 year old would do so of course that included lounge drinking:
budlight, budlight platinum, twisted teas, margaritas
All totally normal for my group of friends... at noon. The sun was out, bathing suites were on (for the  most part) and a fun time was had by all..


if only it were that easy


T had gone fishing with his buddies that day only a few miles away from my friends house. Boys will be boys so of course when they came back at 6 PM they were hammered off their face


screaming, dancing, still drinking type of hammered off their face


While I chalk it up to a boys day drinking and let them be, the neighbors surrounding us would have no such patience and immediately the complaints started rolling in. 


The musics too loud
You're too loud
I'm too loud
We're all too drunk


Mind you this is probably around 8PM and it's a Saturday night.. what do these people want from us? So we left and went out.. but not after i conferred with my friend I would be sleeping at her house
 Of course shes says..you're more then welcomed
Which she would always say since she's one of my best friends- but i digress. We end up at a club on a dock which had a odd mix of Vegas/ trashy NY feel to it. Bottle service with tables that had views of boat houses and gas stations? Ah what do you expect but still definitely not my scene.


It was even more not my scene when my boyfriend and his friends didn't get in right after me and my friends.


And even more not my scene when a guy paid him $50 bucks to cut him in line.


 That was my cue to leave the club/bar/boat gas station and go spend $50


We ended up at a great dive bar and had my toes in the sand drinking a Corona- perfect. The cab was easy to find home..a little too easy and when I got up to my friends front door it was locked..locked out with a drunk T and his friends was not fun. These aren't just some drunk guys that can pass out anywhere. They're all clearly over 6'5" and usually need 2-3 couches and I was clearly not happy.


After throwing rocks at her window, approximately 15 texts, 30 cell phone calls, 15 house calls, pounding on the doors, and door bell ringing her sister answers the door..


My friend I leave snoozing in her bed...she was high and drunk and she's my best friend- shit happens. I take my keys and drive T and the friendly giants home and proceed to pass out on T's couch


 End Scene right? 
of course not


I wake up at 3 AM in a disgusting sweat demanding water. T brings water and then in my delusional state I claim I need ice
he says I yelled it,
we'll go with i asked politely and smiled...
As he goes to get the ice I make a mad dash for the bathroom and start throwing up under-cooked hamburgers and hot dogs from the earlier day


I knew letting the drunk ones bbq wasn't the best idea but hey... they volunteered


And now I was paying for my laziness- with my face in a toilet. Nothing says sexy besides a sweaty smelly girl over a toilet the night before Father's Day.


Within 4 hours of this debacle I was over the neighbor complaints, over being locked out, over being practically force fed poison and enjoying Father's Day until my friend started with the silent treatment...


apparently the 15 house calls were forwarded to her parents
like i was suppose to know that


She's currently not speaking to me because T's friends were apparently the loud ones the complaint was filed against and I'm suppose to be responsible for that? They're giants I tell you... Giants! When's the last time you  controlled a giant? 


Exactly


xx

9+5 = how many months later?

So I've gotten a little better at this right? Took me long enough- lets see how long it lasts. I was looking back on past posts tongue twister - and was reading how about more then a year ago I had an abortion...


I would've had a baby right now
A 5 month old baby..


Maybe it wasn't a big deal to me
Maybe I never dealt with it
Maybe I'm still in denial


To be completely honest the only times I think about it are when someone brings up the word in passing which happens as often as you think it would...almost never and even then the feeling lasts for 30 seconds max..


i had an abortion and this person has no idea


If the person making the standard "That sound about as fun as an abortion" comment knew the stress, anxiety, pain, sorrow that goes along with that process I doubt they would even have that word in their vocabulary BUT that is the price I pay for hiding my secret.


I could broadcast to the world that I had this procedure, that I was okay with the decision, that it was my choice but that still doesn't mean that I occasionally ache for the loss but that is the burden I carry and I do not need judgments from every person I meet.


Happy and for the most part healthy at the age of 25 is more then I can ask for. I can only accept the decisions I've made and hope to learn from them in the future. I do not take the notion of life lightly, and it might sound selfish but my life is my main priority.


xx

All posts start with a J huh? Guess I'll just keep with that trend. Since we last left my life I have


- Lived with three vegan lesbian hippies and shared one bathroom
- Fallen in Love
- Moved twice
- Got a new job


Guess that about sums it up. I was moving out yesterday and saying goodbye to my hippies and don't you  know they bring home a litter of stray cats. If there as any sign from God that I needed to move that was it. Don't get me wrong I love all animals but I'm not about to spend my Thursday night sitting in our den brushing their flees out and rubbing their butts in our kitchen sink to make them poop.


Right so on to the next as they say. I'm a hop skip and a jump away from my work and the city now and a fucking long shot from my boyfriend. Go back a few posts and its the basketball guy that won out- try and keep up.


It's like you can't have your cake and eat it to. As soon as i move a step closer to being successful at work and living that whole city life I give up seeing my boyfriend on a regular basis. Where is that happy medium?


xx

New Year New Post?

God this is why no one follows this blog, I'm completely engulfed in my own life to share it with you. well here I am world- surprised? so am I.


I was looking back on the very few posts I have and I realize that my life is far too entertaining to be leaving you all out of it so I'll give you a quick re-cap of where I'm at.


Tim is still around praise the good lord. He's actually grown on me the past 6 months now that I'm completely single and can give him like half of my attention. Sure enough when you give someone positive attention they want to hang out with you, weird.


Nate is no longer around, and i've had a full nights sleep ever since. No more stressing over arguing. No wasted energy of hating him, no acne of jealousy- win, win really. Don't get me wrong I miss the kid but I have way too much pride to actually text him.


Ham, for lack of better alias name, was a great college friend who now I see every 6 months or so to just have sex with. He's a great guy, a great drunk, a great time, and heck if he didn't live 5 hours away maybe there would be something there- but we all know long distance doesn't work so stop kidding yourself.


Obviously my recap starts with the guys and my life- well my life is in limbo. I moved and I'm job hunting while employed which seems almost impossible really. How many doctor appointments can i really go on before I have to fake some serious illness. I'll try to keep the topics vague and maybe even relatable. I'd throw a picture or two in there but what's the fun of actually knowing who I really am right?


Some of you might have got a glance of me on the infamous Santacon in NYC. Now I know Santacon happens every year all over the country but I mean come on NYC is legit. Well my day drinking turned into some heavy night crying.


thats right picture if you can:
a cute girl dressed in a mens XL santa suit
sobbing
sipping on a bud heavy
in penn station
alone


Not only had I had some serious hate sex with Nate after he degraded me all morning via text what girl doesn't get turned on by being called a bitch but I then had to watch him scarf down some hideous salmon wrap from a ghetto bodega while he politely told me I wasn't staying the night, and by polite i mean it looked like a scene from  WWE Monday Night Raw on 1st Ave.


Long story short the cops in Penn Station felt bad and obviously invited themselves into my pity party and spared me a ticket. Lesson learned: leave phone at home next time I day drink in a Santa Suite.


xx

Patience is a Virtue

I've never had patience, never ever ever. I was that crazy kid that looked like someone fed them ecstasy and was screaming their head off  all the time and was a parents worst nightmare of a play date.


patience was never my virtue.


But as I have grown older patience has come to me out of pride. I see girl obsessing and throwing themselves at guys and I think to my self "why doesn't anyone tell these girls they look like fools. " Since I realized that in high school I have always subconsciously played hard to get. I never text first, I never hound a guy, I take what they're saying at face value 100% of the time- and here I am now, with more guys then I can handle and more stories then I can even remember to tell.


This patience subject has a point I promise-
Tim came back the old bastard. After I completely wrote him off too. I sent him one nasty text message that made me feel satisfied, throwing around all the good words, asshole, incompetent, bitch and then just deleted his number. Deleted to the point that I had no recent calls, no voicemails no nothing.  two weeks later don't I get a drunk text on a Wednesday night with one word:


why


why? really?? why- thats what your jump off point is going to be? alrite I can fuck with that. After some sarcastic text messages that aren't even interesting enough to disclose he wanted to hang out- but thank god I was busy for the weekend, even more hard to get.


we ended up hanging out one random week night and just catching up but I with held the sex card. No ones going to ignore me for 3 weeks and think I'm going to jump their bones the second they start talking to me again even if he is a tall cute basketball player and now he is up my ass like a dog in heat- you would think the kid is 14 years old again.


I'm in jersey shore this weekend so everyone pray for me please- as for Tim, guess he'll just have to wait for my drunk text message back.


xx

throw up a J

do you notice that all my blogging is in the months beginning with J's? 

maybe its because I like to 'throw up a good J" once in awhile

my friends from college started that, when we actually wanted to be discrete at a party

someone walked in we didn't like, which was more often then not- or someone was wearing something

absolutely hideous we would throw up a J.

this involves you pointing your index finger straight up and curving your thumb

as seen below to make a huge J.

now this could either be with your right hand so that you enjoy the J

or the left hand so that your friend can enjoy it

you could throw both hands up if you really needed to.

i find humor in all inapropriateness so when a couple of my cousins friends came to

my grandfathers wake dressed like absolute whores, i obviously had to share this J

situation with my other cousins. Now not only is this J passed around through my family

and friends i feel the need to use it in my everyday life as if everyone should know

what it means hwen i 'throw up a j'

so a heads up for all you strangers- if you see a brunette walking around throwin up her thumb

and index finger- you know why, cause its survival of the fittest out there, judge or be judged man. 

when it rains it pours

as if Tim and Nate weren't taking up all my time and efforts...
(not so much tim since i havent even heard from him but we expected that didnt we?)

..my college love is now engaged and I could post a picture of my left hand right now to show you that it is as bare as a newborns bottom but we won't be going to those extremes right now.

"is it a joke?"

"is dan really engaged?"

"he's kidding right? have you talked to him?"

"how are you?"

we're the first of about 100 texts that rolled in from my facebook obsessed friends. the best part about all this is that his  girlfriend, excuse me fiancee, took a picture obviously seconds after the facebook update of being engaged except it was on a mac

and on a mac the camera reverses the photo

so the ring shows on her right hand...

you see the irony here? cause i do. 1- facebook was the first notification of my ex boyfirend of 3 years getting married 2- my friends had the detective skills to realize it was a mac photo- and were not   thrown off by this chick showing off a rock on her right hand. 3- when i texted my ex boyfriend he goes 'sorry'

sorry hes dating a girl dumb enough to show off her engagement ring in a picture that makes it look like it's her right hand? sorry facebook was the way i found out about this? or sorry it wasn't me..

the back story is brief and so is the breakup. we dated for three years and when it came to graduation he wasn't moving to my home and I wasn't moving to his. No huge argument, no blow up, no screaming - just acceptance of the inevitable- long distance relationships do not work, period.

i know some of you are judging me for texting him- like it isn't my place- but i slept with the kid in august and when have i ever given a shit what people think. Also, call me old fashioned but do we not think that maybe you should date someone a year- maybe even live with them  they could have one of those freakish addicting habits like eating furniture and you would never know- before you propose?

my mom puts it best "forever is a long time" but with divorce rate at a solid 50% why not just throw  that decision up to fate, Dan was never a guy for thinking something through- he wanted it so he did it.  I do still consider him a friend so I do hope he's happy and I do hope it works out  shit that's alot of I do's for someone whose not engaged. 

I would say I do hope they have a happy and healthy family as well but good ol' Dan got rocked in the balls playing lacrosse in college so he is sterile as a needle, still makes me giggle a little..

xx