Recycling

We're told to recycle, to help the enviornment, to protect our children and their future earth, and hell it even makes us feel a little better about ourselves. My favorite thing to recycle? Boys


 Now I have my fair share of ex-boyfriends and I never thought about "recycling" until I became completely single a little over a year and a half ago. I ran into one of my ex's and just started up an innocent conversation. What started as a conversation ended in the bedroom, right where we left off.


I didn't need a text the next morning, some empty promise of hanging out. I had had my fill and and I was completely satisfied. I already knew what a shitty boyfriend he was so there was no lusting after him that way. It was a balance for the emotionless and I had it down to a tee. What was I doing just stopping at one ex-boyfriend? I had them all over the island, hell I had them all up and down the east coast!


"Recycling" was a term I cannot even take credit for. My friends all laugh at me because it was such a nonchalant action. It became a bad habit. It was my go-to. I didn't bring a guy home that night? Not a problem- I had an ex-boyfriend most likely within a 10-mile radius that I could be with that night. It made me lazy in my man hunt, that is until i did the big no-no.


My "NYC" ex was always a convenient crash pad. Hoboken Irish Day? perfect. Yankees Day Parade? I'm passing out there. I didn't have to worry about a train home, I had guaranteed sex, and usually a meal squeezed in there somewhere along with a bed to sleep in. But somewhere between those drunk stumblings through the east village and incoherent cab rides I started liking him again, like really liking him, like dating liking him.


Fool me once, shame on you- fool me twice, shame on me. It's practically my moral code. I never go back to ex-boyfriends. But here I am with NYC in an "exclusive" hook up (i know what are we 12?) But I cannot date someone again. "its called a break up for a reason", "he's not that into you" , how many books do I have to read in order to get the hint? Society tells us no- but here I am commuting the city every other weekend to see my ex? (current?) boyfriend.


I always thought recycling would do me some good but it looks like I'm the one eating shit now.  I should be all happy I'm in a steady relationship but to me its a little ticking time bomb that's going to erupt into something bigger then the BP oil spill, but I'm sure I'll have plenty of recyclables around to help clean me up after


xx